Wednesday, March 5, 2008 9:26 PM
I'm getting bored with my life and I'm starting to hate myself
Why?
I don't know why.
Anyway, I'm graduating soon and I don't know what my future leads me to..
I just wish to turn myself back to a 6 years old girl where I don't have to think of anything else..
All I have to think is just play for all I care
I hate being myself..
I've to think of friends wonder if they still love me and care for me like I always do...
Think about boyfriend wonder if the person I like do like me too or having long-term relationship with a guy ...
Think about job wonder if I really get the job of my dream...
Think about money wonder if I hav enough for my daily expenses and for my further studies...
Think about family wonder if we are falling apart (hoping nt to happen again)...
& etc...
haish... why am I feeling this way?
I laugh,
I joke,
I smile,
But inside of me...
I feel restless and I don't wish to think of anything else anymore
I feel like half of my life is gone
And I don't know what is it
Don't ask me
I just need........
Someone to build my strength back
Someone who can stay up with me and accompany me whenever I need them
Someone to let me lean on their shoulder whenever I need it
Someone to share my sadness & happiness with me whenever I want to
Someone who stay up just to talk to me and fill up my lonely heart
I don't know what to say anymore, I just...need that someone!!!
I do hav friends all around me whoever or whenever I want to turn to
But to me, they are the people who always makes me laugh, joke around, go shopping together like spend time together..
But what I mean is...
I need someone who knows without me telling them...
I use to have that someone but somehow we lost contact
Whenever I need someone to talk to, to lean to, to cry with, to scream with...
I always turn to that special someone...but now whenever I try to turn to that person, I just realise that we already lost contact for 3 years plus
But I always feel that someone is still beside me and will always be.
동방신기 영원히,사랑해요...
